This was going to be a 'I successfully styled and made over my friend' post but she refused all the clothes I suggested we try on when we went shopping. So, that failed. Instead here's a slightly more personal post I hope you can relate to.
I spent time with one of my best friends, Lucy (or Alex or Lexie whatever you call yourself these days) recently and it was really good to see her. After leaving school you really understand who your friends are and to be honest the number is very small. Even though she goes to university in Scotland god knows why, and is for sure the furthest possible distance from me out of all my friends I never feel distant from her. It's not because we text or call each other constantly because we don't at all. I appreciate that she has new friends that she wants to spend time with and I have mine, but it doesn't mean we forget about our friendship.
I don't think anyone has every understood why we are friends because we are complete opposites and I was reminded of this when we went out. On a totally superficial level, our style is so different. I would post a picture of us together but she would probably kill me so I'll try to describe it instead. Lucy only wears black and white while navy blue is her 'go to' colour whereas I like to wear as much colour as possible. Lucy's skirts and dresses are always knee length whereas I like to push the boundaries in both directions (mostly up). Lucy's ideal shoe is a riding boot and mine is a ridiculous platform. Lucy's style icon is Kate Middleton and mine is G-Dragon. Lucy's favourite shop is Hobbs and mine is Vivienne Westwood. Apart from clothes even our main interests differ. She'd rather be in Chelsea reading up on Danish history while I want to be in Tokyo sipping Ramune in a cat café. She eats falafel and I prefer cheeseburgers. The list goes on...
So why are we friends? We have no similar interests (who gets excited about medieval history??) and we look ridiculous together. But honestly who cares? You don't have to look like or like anything as someone else. Common interests don't bind you as friends, neither does belonging to the same fashion tribe. Sure, it usually starts off like that, you say 'hey I like cats' and the other person happens to like cats too. So you go round to each others houses to play with cats, go to pet shops to look at cats, go to cat cafés to pet cats but the novelty wears thin and you look for something else you both share. I mean a friendship can't be based on a love of cats. That was just a silly example but I hope you understand where I'm going with this. There has to be something else, something deeper that connects you and helps you understand the other person.
You're all probably thinking What is she talking about?? but hold on I do have a point! When I was walking around shopping with Lucy, picking out clothes for her while she repeatedly said no, my immediate reaction wasn't Oh my God you're so annoying why do you only wear black?? I just thought that it was so wonderful that she's able to be comfortable and be her own person doing her own thing. And at the same time she lets me do my own thing without trying to change me. This is really important to me because I take pride in the way I look and people often stare or call me rude stuff in the street. I tried branching out into different styles but as with most things people talk you down and make you conform, and while I have a strong personality now, it really wore me down for a while. Lucy always embraced the kawaii me when everyone else called me weird and at the same time I think it's cool that she always looks like she's about to go to watch polo.
The point is friendship isn't about becoming the same person as your friend (although you do pick up on stuff they do) it's two individuals sharing a close bond with one another. No amount of texting or commonality will be a solid foundation for a friendship. It's just being you, but with someone else! So to all those reading this, especially those who are going to university in September, you don't have to hold on to everyone. All those people you talk to just because you are in a class with them doesn't mean you have to be friends forever. People come and people go. Especially in university you'll be discovering who you are outside of a small high school community and the people that you used to hang out with out of convenience aren't really your friends. The people you are supposed to stay with will be there for you.
Thanks for being a great friend Lucy.
Choom xoxo
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